Real and Fiction
by Megara
Summary: Takes place right at the end of Soul Reaver 2. Raziel must deal with demented spirits in a realm between realms.
1. Default Chapter

Nosgothic characters belong to Eidos.  
All other characters are mine.  
  
Real and Fiction  
No, this could not be his destiny. His mind screamed as he fell into the spectral realm. He felt warmth, yet the freezing feeling of the Soul Reaver at his arm. His own soul, himself.  
~ My God! We've fell into their trap!! Raziel, Janos must stay dead! ~  
Those words kept repeating themselves inside his head, yet the meant nothing to him, nothing meant anything to him.   
Something was wrong. The falling feeling of changing to the spectral hadn't stop. He was still falling, right through the spectral realm. Was there anything besides this realm!?  
Raziel lurched forward, falling, hitting the floor.....what floor? There was no floor, no walls, and the body of his former self was gone, as was Kain.   
The falling feeling stopped. He kept expecting to fall, yet he didn't. He sat on the "floor" and looked at the bright foggy whiteness around him. What was this place or when was it?   
Nothing but whiteness answered. There was no sound. No spectral little monsters scrabbling about, no moaning souls, nothing twisted or distorted things anywhere, what was this? Oblivion?  
The silence was maddening. Raziel felt like screaming just to make sound he could hear.  
But then something already gave him the sound needed for his sanity.  
A giggle made him whirl around to his feet. He looked out and could see a figure coming toward him. He was tired, he wanted no more fights, no more deaths on his claws, nothing. He was sick of it all.  
The figure transfigures itself into a girl. No, not quite a girl, but too young to be a woman. She wore a cleric robe, and her long light brown tied back from her face. Nicely tan skin charmed her features. Her eyes were mismatched...the right eyes was blue and the other was green.  
"I must say, I'm disappointed in your progress." She said with a smile.  
"Who are you?" Raziel demanded. "I want no trouble, I have had enough of it. Are you of the Hylden?"  
"No." She replied. "Don't be simple."  
Where had he heard those words?  
"Who are you? What is this place?"  
"We are legion. Do you not feel it with all your soul that we are like gods?"  
Kain had uttered those very words when Raziel had travel through time for the first time. That had seem so long ago, when he was hell bent on killing Kain, before he realized that he had a much bigger role to play then being Kain's assassin.  
"Do you know Kain?" Raziel demanded. "Is this another one of his tricks?"  
"Are we not invisible?" The girl asked.  
"Stop speaking his words. Answer me, girl. I have no time for games!"  
"But each of us is so much more than we once were." She replied.  
Raziel, though he lost much respect for it, brandished the Soul Reaver. "Don't make me have to harm you. You're taunting won't do."  
The girl eyes the blade and smiled sweetly which would have made mortal men's hearts beat faster. "Did it trouble you to kill....."She hesitated, not afraid of Raziel, but more like concentrating on the next word. "Janos Audren?"  
Raziel had enough. He slashed forward. He expected blood, explosion, and possibly a scream.  
But there was nothing before him or his blade, then something slam into his back. Something with the strength of the futuristic demons that had plague him. He sledded across the "floor", and jumped to his feet. The girl was smiling at him with that smile of hers.   
No way she could have attacked him with such force, she small, thin, and very much shorter than himself. A sourceress?  
"Don't be simple." She repeated as if she was reading his mind.  
"What are you?" He demanded.  
"We are legion." She replied.  
"Damn you, answer me!!!"  
She giggled again, making his rage boil.   
She raised her hands above her head and said with a smile, "Free will is an allusion."  
Then he was falling again. The girl swirling in his vision, then as abruptly as it started, it stopped. He was alone again, in this whiteness.  
He began to wonder if he was loosing his mind. Had there really been a girl? The pain in his body attested to that. Who was she? Did she know of Kain? Was she with the Hylden?  
His feet began moving before he realized he was traveling. He kept walking, hoping to see something. He had no idea of which direction he was going; north, south, east, or west.  
Then he saw another figure. It was misshapen from a distance. He walked slowly and carefully toward it. Unsure.   
The figure had a humanoid shape, and winged creature such as Janos Aurdren?  
It had only one white wing and where its twin should it was a terrible looking scar. Possibly ripped out by the root. The thing turn around and Raziel backed away.  
The angel looked like the winged humans, he had seen in Cathedrals, and and the Stronghold. Yet, she shad slightly pointed ears, not as pointed as his or Janos Audren's.  
She was clearly not of Janos Audren's kind. Her skin white, as was her hair. No color at all, he was surprise she did not blend into her surroundings like a lizard. Her light blue pupiless eyes regarded him with curiosity.   
But none of these oddities made him back away from her. It was her nudity that surprised and even embarrassed him.  
"Who are you?" He asked, keeping his eyes firmly to her face.   
The one winged angel played with a coil of her white hair, and said, "A goddess. A goddess amongst men and women, even children." She looked at him and asked something that caught him off guard. "Are you lonely?"  
Lonely? No, he wasn't. It was hard enough to keep on his toes with all the lies, manipulations, and conspiracies swarming around him. It was better if he traveled alone, and kept to himself.  
She must have taken his silence as a yes and smiled. "I can change that, Reaver of Souls."  
She moved closer to him.  
Raziel, in reflex, backed away.   
She stopped, and froze, her hand held out toward him. Something in her twitched for a breath of a second and then she smiled. "I see that you've noticed my....my missing wing. I'm still pure, I'm still perfect. I'm still beautiful."  
Her hand was shaking.  
"I did not mean to offend you, lady." Raziel said. "I too have lost my ability of flight. I understand your loss."  
But it was as if she didn't hear him. An icy cold flame was lit in her eyes, glowing coldness and hatred and raw rage. "He took it. The bastard. The fucking bastard. The fucking vile bastard. He took it. He took it from me. I'll get him. I got him."  
Then her blue eyes went out like a candle as if the coldness had not been there. Warmth radiated from her eyes toward him. "You must be tired, dear sire. Come and rest and I shall take away your woes and wearies."  
Raziel had no need to trust this angel than he had the others. The sudden madness in her eyes startled and disturbed him. He thought it safe to politely refuse her suggestive offer. "Your offer very much warms my spirit, but I am afraid I must refuse. I am on a journey, a mission mostly, and I must be on my way."  
"You....you....you are refusing me...." She hissed, the coldness back in her eyes. "Just like he did! Just like....like....that fucking bastard that took my wing!!!"  
Raziel started to question her, but then he was thrown backwards. He landed on the "floor" hard, making his dizzy, then he lost movement. A strange and invisible weight was pinning him.   
The angel stood over him, smiling. "You are far from beautiful, Reaver of Souls, but you are quite exotic." She kneeled and straddled what was left of his waist. Her white hands moved over his ribs, such as those of a lover.  
"Get off me." Raziel commanded. He was angry now. And her roaming hands were not arousing anything but his rage.  
She leaned forward, her face inches from his own. "No, I want you, my Reaver of Souls. Elder God had you, Kain had you, Moebius had you, and soon Janos Audren will have you, but now it's my turn. But for what I want you for is very different than what the others want you for." She kissed his brow. Her lips were cold, sending chills through his body.  
This was something he never would have though to happen to him, not with this body of his. Wings destroyed, executed, betrayed, manipulated by everyone and everything, even by the Soul Reaver itself, hunted, hurled through time, even killing himself. Now he was going to be raped by an angel (if that was possible with his torn body and her being a female). How Kain would laugh to see his disgusting wasted body being ravished by this angel's pure and beautiful one.  
She was removing his cowl now. He had hope that maybe his missing jaw would strong dissuade her from what she wanted, but she only caressed his hair and kissed the tip of his nose. He had never been so angry or humiliated.  
"So you know of Kain?" He asked, trying anything to dissuade her from removing his cowl.  
Never had he seen such a reaction from a spoken name before. She screamed, jumping off him. She was humming to herself, rocking back and forth and on her legs. She brought her left hand to her mouth and started to bite it, drawing blood, trying to actually eat it.  
Raziel watched, horrified and tranfized. This angel was mad, insane.  
"No, Chael, stop that, now." Came a firm voice. 


	2. Chapter 2

"Ka....Tor....Tormy?" The angel eyes wide and tearful.   
A woman stepped out of the whiteness. She was a tall black woman, wearing a long flowing red dress. Her dark tresses were tied up in small tight braids away from her face.   
"Yes, dear, Tormy is here." The woman said in rich voice. "Now you must stop that."  
The angel grew angry and screamed, "YOU DON'T TELL ME WHAT TO DO, DAMN YOU, BITCH!!! I'M THE EMPERORESS, PRINCESS OF STARS, GODDESS OF MORTALS!!!!!!"  
The woman didn't wince at all. She gave the angel a deep bow and said, "Forgive me, my lady. But your people worry about you. It won't do if you're hurt. They need and love you, dear. Don't break their hearts by being harmed."  
The angel sniffled and tilted her head like a spoiled rich girl. "Oh very well, I suppose."  
"Now dear, let your guest up off the floor." The woman called Tormy said.  
Then Raziel witnessed the angel go into a mood swing.   
"You.....you're....not angry with me....are you?" The angel asked, with the impertinence of a spoiled girl gone. "Please, I was only playing. I didn't hurt him, see, he was like this when he got here." Motioning to his ravaged appearance.   
"I know dear, I know. I'm not angry, but please, let him up."  
Raziel felt the weight lift off his body. He immediately got to his feet and prepared to defend himself. The angel screamed fled to get behind the black woman, she peered around her at him.  
"Please, Raziel put your guard down now. I am sorry Chael did what she did. As you can, she cannot help for what she does anymore." The woman said gently.  
"Who are you and what is this cursed place?" Raziel demanded.  
"You have every right to know, but you don't have to brandish your weapon at me. You will get all your answers in a moment." The woman reassured him.  
She turned to the frightened angel. "Dear, go off and play. Raziel and I have to talk about adult stuff."  
"Okay, mommy." The angel said softly. Then she looked wistfully at the dark woman's face and said, "I...I love you."  
"I love you too, dear. Now go on."   
The angel disappeared leaving behind snow white feathers and an echo of girlish giggles.  
The woman shook her head, fondly with a smile. "Poor thing. I don't need to tell you that she's insane."  
"What happened to her wing?" Raziel asked still not sending the Soul Reaver away.   
"Kain ripped it out." The woman said. "She has done much evil when he was here, but much evil had been done to her. Losing a limb and power can do that to you."  
"So Kain had been here?" Raziel said, studying the woman. He wasn't ready to willingly trust anyone.  
"Yes, a few years ago, but in your time it was thousands of years. Times run at different speeds between dimensions."  
"This is another demension?"   
"No, not exactly. It's more like between dimensions. Some people call it Space of Nothing, Fool's Paradise, The Nothingness, and someone I know calls it Gap Space. An odd name, yet suiting."  
"Who are you?"  
"Tormenta, the Goddess of Torment, Agony, and Death as some people call me." The woman said bowing.  
"Did you bring me here?" Raziel demanded.  
"Oh no. I knew something was distressing Chael, so I came to see and I found you as you are." The woman said studying him.  
"How do you know me?"  
"I know you because you are unused to being in....Gap Space. In Gap Space, your thoughts are sent out into the void to be shared by others. That is how Chael and I know of you and that you are associated with Kain."  
Reading his thoughts? Damn! Now this woman may know everything about him? Is that good or bad? He is ready to trust anyone yet and this woman may yet be in league with Kain or Mobeius.  
"Let me assure you that I am in league with no one from Nosgoth. Our meeting has not been planned in anyway. It is just a coincidence of circumstances."  
"Now that's a new one." Raziel replied. "I've heard many gentle words from the lowest of snakes, now what's to make me believe you."  
Tormenta sighed and shook her head. "I see nothing I can say can make you trust me, so I'll be on my way, if you please." She turned to go, then stopped. "I should warn you. That Gap Space is the place where lost souls go to sort themselves out. If you continue any further, soon this place will seep into your mind and soul. In other words, continue farther than you'll become insane as Chael."  
She disappeared. No smoke, no words of power, or any fancy bright light. Just gone.  
He continued onward into the whiteness of nothing. He didn't know how long he had walked till began to loose his mind.   
"....loves the little children of the world......" A singsong voice echoed.  
He froze into a defense stance. His sharp eyes scanning the whiteness, but seeing nothing.....then.....  
"...bless the little children, all the little children of the world....."  
Something bump into his back. He whirled, claws ready, and Soul Reaver posed, humming.  
He saw a woman standing staring at him, her eyes glazed. She wore clothes that were not Nosgothic. A blue dress that came down to below her knees and she wore transparent stockings. Her small feet were in strange blue shoes that inclined on a cylinder. She wore a blood stained white apron with ridiculous hearts linging the hem. Her dark hair was pulled up on top her head with pins and face pain was smeared into her face.  
"I love children. Do you love children?" She said warm voice.  
She held a meat-clever in her hand, blood dripping off the tip. Blood was covered her hands and forearms and peppered her face. Her auburn hair was stiff with it, and it hung in her face. Her blue eyes staring at him from behind the strands.   
Raziel backed away from her and she followed. Her hands hanging limply at her sides, her strange shoes dragging across the 'floor'.  
"I have children. Three beautiful little angels." The woman continued. "I know you had a clan full of children."  
"Yes.....Lady......I did." Raziel said backing away. This woman held the stench of death over her like a fog; he can almost see it.  
"You loved them, then you hated them." The woman said, smiling. A smile that should have warmed hearts sent chills down his spine. It looked wrong on her face, out of place.   
"When you were a vampire, you loved them and missed them, then you found out what you were, than you hated them. How do you feel now?" She asked.  
It didn't unnerve that she knew so much about him. Gods, he had gotten use to people knowing more about him, then he did.  
"Lady, how I feel is none of your concern. Now, I'll be on my way." He said.  
It was as if the woman didn't hear him. "My husband loved my little angels too. But....too much."  
Raziel paused. He didn't know why, but something was making him stay with this woman.  
"He loved them so much, he spent so much time with them. Especially when he tuck them in at night." The woman said, smiling. "Then he would come down with a happy little smile. It was then I saw the little bruises on my little angel's thighs, was when I began to wonder. I walk in on him while he was tucking in my little babies into bed. Well.....he wasn't really tucking them into bed. More like tucking himself in with them."  
The woman giggled. Raziel wanted to leave. He didn't need to hear this, didn't want to. But he heard it anyway.  
"I wanted to him to stop hurting my little girls, but he wouldn't. Said he was preparing them for the grown up world by doing what he was doing. I wanted to turn him in, but I love him too much to see him taken off to prison. Do you know what prisoners do to child molesters and child rapists? Why half those men have little children they love themselves."  
She blushed at some secret thought and said, "A lady friend, whose husband works near the prison, told me that they raped a child molester with a broken bottle. Then they did things to his you-know-what." She winked as if they had a secret.  
When the woman talked, Raziel felt being pulled into her words, feeling empty. He knew he had to leave, but he couldn't. His legs wouldn't do what he wanted.  
"So what was I to do? Take my little angels and myself away? My husband would only take us back. So I had an idea. I took a knife my kitchen and tucked my little girls into bed.....well, I didn't really tuck them in, you know. Then I did it to myself."   
Raziel turned to leave, but thin arms wrapped around him and pulled him into a hug. He could hear the woman humming her sound to him from behind, her cheek against his back.  
"AWAY FROM MY, SPIRIT!!!!"  
He whipped around to knock her away, but his claw connected with nothing. He stood there gasping for breath. Beads of sweat started rolling down his brow, to his cheek and dripped off his jaw. Raziel rubbed his chin with the palm of his hand.  
Then he stopped. A jaw? Why did it feel wrong to have a jaw? He always had a jaw. Of course, he did. These damn vampires must be trying to confuse his mind with their evil spirits. Soon, when he killed their leader, he'll have them all.  
Now where was his brothers? Turel and Dumah? Oh yes, they are in their clan territories looking over their clans. Raziel's dark lips lifted in a smirk, his wings tingling to try to wind. They'll be there for the clan meeting. Good, he'll be able to show off his newly developed wings at the Sanctuary of the Clans. Afterwards he'll go kill Janos Audren.   
Wait! Hadn't he already been to the clans meeting? How did Kain react to his wings? Janos was already dead! Wasn't he, but someone else killed him....NO, it was him, yet why didn't remember ripping out the heart. He knew how it was done, but yet he didn't remember doing it. Abyss....dangerous, much swirling water, coming closer....he was FALLING!!!!!  
KAIN!!!!!! 


	3. Chapter 3

Raziel fell hard, not able to catch him. He lay there, gasping, his eyes wide. The rush of vertigo made him nauseous. His claws groped the "floor" to reassure himself that he was well on ground level.  
"Watcha doin'?  
He pushed himself up to his feet, wobbly and almost falling over. He summoned the Soul Reaver, and it flickered and waved.  
"Lordy, tha ter a mighty purty thing ya got thar."  
A boy was walking out of the mists toward him. He too wore strange clothes, but not like the bloody woman. Raziel may not recognize these clothing, but they were overalls. The boy wore a large straw hat and his wore no shoes on his dirty feet.  
The boy also didn't have a right arm. It was a bleeding stump at the elbow. Blood was pooling at the boy's feet and was running in a tiny stream toward Raziel.  
Raziel stepped back.  
"Howdy! Ma name's Pete. Wut's yores?"  
"Raziel." He replied, keeping a wary eye on the boy.  
"Yoo lookin' at ma stump?" Pete asked. "Ma paw dunnit."  
"Your father?"  
The kept his eyes on the Soul Reaver, blue eye wide with fascination. "Donnit hur'?"  
Raziel could barely understand the boy's irregular dialect.  
"Aaaah, shut up, surga, and go play." A high pitch female voice screeched. "Me and big boy here gonna talk." She too spoke with a strange accent.  
"Aww, shucks. Ya alwas' chasin' me off." Pete stamped his foot in the blood.  
A girl appeared wearing what Raziel knew women in Nosgoth would never wear. She wore tight fitting pink suit that revealed shapely legs and arms. Her hair was cut very short and styled and she wore a little hair with a feather. High heel shoes gave her several inches of height and she wore layers of face paint. She walked out of the fog in a way that showed off her shapely body and let everyone know that she herself knew she had a nice body.   
At first Raziel couldn't detect it, then as she drew closer, he noticed. Her arms were stained with blood. Blood was seeping from her wrists and dripping onto the floor.   
She winked at Raziel. "Hey, that's showbiz, honey."  
"Show....biz?" Raziel tried the unfamiliar word.  
"Yeah, showbiz! Hollywood! Stars! Fame!" She hugged herself. "Chester, he said he was gonna make me a star. I was gonna be famous. Had ta leave home though, and....cut my hair. But it was worth it. I had what it took. Then....Chester said the money was all gone, and dat...." Her face started to crack. Raziel awaited the tears.  
Then she brightened up and smiled, wink (he noticed a beauty mark mole beneath her eye) and began to tap her shoes to a song only she could hear. She swung her legs, showing them off and flexing them. She swung her arms slinging blood. The red liquid splattered onto Raziel's feet and legs, making him jump back out of range. Raziel began to wonder if this "showbiz" was an advertisement for prostitution.  
Then she ended her dance with a bow and threw her arms up to a crowd that only she could see. "I can sing too, honey. Won't be too long before I get my footsteps in cement and my name too. Chester said so."  
Raziel swallowed and rubbed his throat with a sweaty hand. He needed to get back before his Saraphan brothers missed him. Saraphan brothers! His brothers were of the Holy Vampire Lords blood, the sons of Lord Kain. No! They were dead! He killed them, except for Turel.   
Raziel ripped off his cowl and groped the underside of "mouth". No jaw, no throat, any way he could have rubbed his throat if he didn't have one.   
"That gotta hurt." The girl said, eyeing him.   
Raziel stiffly replaced his cowl, and turned to leave. Small hands grabbed his cloven hand and pulled.   
"Naw, ya can't leave yet. I haven't done performing for ya."  
"No thank you, my la......" He stared at the girl....yet she wasn't a girls. He could see the crow's feet around her eyes and mouth. She had soft sags beneath her eyes. This female wasn't a girl, but a woman trying to look like a girl. She could be in her 30s or 40s for what he could see.  
"How old are you?" He asked.  
"How old am I!? HOW OLD!?" She shrieked. "Goddammit!!!! Damn you!!! Just like Chester!" She stamped her feet, the now loose skin on her legs jiggled. "I can still do it! I can still sing and dance!! Dammit!! I'm not washed up!!! I can make to the top! I KNOW I CAN!!!!"  
Her skin was wrinkling and aging before his eyes. Her beauty mark began to sprout a few hairs, her curly blonde hair shaded to gray, then she grew heavy. The outfit was squeezing her, looking painfully tight on her. Now an old, old, woman stood before him.  
"I'M NOT WASHED UP!!! I'M STILL YOUNG!!! SO WHAT IF I'M 30!!! I CAN OUTDANCE AND OUTSING ~ANYBODY~!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"  
Her screams pierced his enhanced hearing, and rang in his head. He ripped his claw free from her grasp and clutched his head.   
"Take yourself away, old woman!!!"  
"OLD!!!! OLD!!!!!!!!!!!! DAMN YOU!!!!!!!!!!! I'LL SHOW YOU FUCKING OLD!!!!!!!!!!!"   
With that, the woman dug her nails into her cheeks. Her nails tore into her skin, digging deep and she began to pull. Raziel backed away wanting to run, but his pride prevented this.   
The woman wrenched her skin away from her face, blood poured from her face like twin waterfalls. Through the leakage he could see her gums and teeth smiling at him.   
"Now we're twins!" She cried as she lunged at him.  
Raziel slashed at her with his claws, but either she dodge them or they went through her. She grabbed his face and brought her face close to his.   
"Kiss me!!! Kiss me Chester!!!"  
What was left of her lips smashed against his dark lips, her tongue slithering into his. How dare this woman touch him! The First Born of Lord Kain! He shoved her away, ready to tear her bleeding head off, but she was gone, as was his dark lips, lower jaw, and throat.  
Raziel groped his cowl-covered face. Yes, everything was still gone. What a strange thing to think?   
"Crazy as a hoot owl, ain't she?"   
Pete was still there, with his freckled cheeks and bleeding stump. "She always bawlin' abut her years. How ol' is she, ya reckin?"  
Raziel shook his head. "I don't know nor do I care. Leave be alone, go back to Hell or Heaven or from wherever you came from spirit."  
"Awww, shucks, Razy, don' be mean. I ain't dun nothin'." Then the boy paused and looked at his stump. "Is that arm a' yores doin's bad suches?"  
Raziel wanted to laugh, he would have if it wasn't for the shock he had experienced. The Soul Reaver doing any bad suches?! Does devouring souls and trying to absorb him count?  
"Ifin' it is, ya better do whut my Paw dun when he caught me doin'......bad suches."  
Raziel didn't know why he asked, maybe it was fatigue, slip of the mind, curiosity, or maybe a part of him was insane.  
"What evil did you do?"   
"Well, mayhaps, I ain't got ta say, but I will. Mah Paw caught me......" The boy looked around as if his Paw was around, his blue eyes wide with fear and dread. "Caught me playin' wit maself."   
The words were different, different from Nosgoth's dialect, yet Raziel understood. "You were...masturbating?"  
"Naw, I wus playin' wit maself. Ya know, handlin' ma buziness. Suchaways, Paw got redder than a apple, lug me to ta shed, whare he keep his tools. Took a scythe he uses for his crop, and took mah arm clean off. Said it somethin' like this, "If the hand does evil, cut it off," and sech."  
The boy laughed and said, "Howdy! Maw sure got to hollerin' and cussin'. Never heard no lady cuss liken she did."  
"Oh, women cuss something alright." Another new voice came.  
A dark figure emerged. He wore dark pants, dark tunic, and dark boots with a chain on each foot that rattle with every step he took. He wore a dark leather coat and his hands were tucked into the pockets. A lit cigarette was between his lip the lit end glowing like an evil eye. Raziel was surprised when he realized how young the man was. He looked fifteen or sixteen, his face having blemishes and boyish.   
Blood was pooling at this boy's feet also, but from behind. The boy shifted his weight and Raziel saw that he back of his head was gone. What was left of the brain and vessels were still pulsing and bleeding.   
"My girlfriend cussed when she found my body." The boy said. "Or maybe it was because she stepped in my blood with her dainty little shoes. Hell, I don't know."  
"Yeah, hell." Pete said, with a boyish joy of swearing.  
"Well, what are ya gonna do about that thing of yours." The older boy asked, his answer directed to Raziel.  
"Thing?"  
"Yeah, your arm. You're just gonna let that thing eat you up?" The older boy asked. "Hell, I wouldn't let no goddamn sword swallow me. I'd rather shoot myself in the head before I let that happen." The boy reached up and ran a finger along the edge of his open skull. "But then again, I already shot myself!"  
He laughed, nearly falling over himself. Pete echoed him, but laughing only because a peer was laughing. Raziel stood there numb. What the boy had said made sense, why not destroy himself and face the afterlife instead of being trapped in madness within the Soul Reaver.  
But how? He was immortal, invincible. Nothing could kill him, nothing. He began to despair, feeling trap within cruel fate.  
"Don't worry, buddy, I got something that can help you out." The boy held out a dark object. Raziel took it with a shaking hand, his fingers coiling around it.  
"It's a gun. It shoots these things called bullets. They can get shot to fast that they cut through people's bodies. I used that to kill myself."  
Kill himself!? The boy was dead!? He must get back and warn his Saraphan brethren that vampires are raising the dead! He bit his lip. No, something was wrong with him. He was not a Saraphan no more, that was all in the past......but wasn't he in the past also!? He clutch at his hair with one hand, his five fingers tugging at him hair, the other gripping the 'gun' tightly.   
"Careful man! You can loose your hand holding it that way. Here let me show you." The boy arranged his fingers over the weapon, his index finger through a small hole and on a trigger, the rest holding the handle.  
"Now put the end of it to your head." The boy instructed.  
Pete was watching his blue eyes wide and full of amazement. His hand was trailing down to his crotch.  
Raziel placed the hole at the end to his temple.   
"No! Not in your mouth and up a little. They can fix you back up, ugly and retarded if there's brains left. You gotta take out the brain, that way you can't come back."  
Raziel obeyed. The gun tasting like copper and blood. He levered it up to wear he was sure the 'bullet' would get his brain.  
"That's it, now, pull the trigger."  
Raziel applied pressure to the small trigger, slowly, and slowly, it moved back. 


End file.
